I bought a purse.

I spent the majority of last year half-showered. I wore the same 5-ish outfits every week and I rarely brushed my hair because I lost my brush somewhere around month 3 and no one really wanted to share theirs with me out of fear of lice.

I carried everything I needed to live in a backpack and still it often felt like I had too much. My life was messy and simple, yet overflowing with things that really mattered.

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And so I thought that’s what it would look like when I moved overseas- I’d bathe if there was water, I’d throw my hair on top of my head, and every day I would be on the streets loving these kids.

But it turns out that starting a full time ministry and traveling from country to country every month are very, very different…

Yesterday, I sat in a government meeting with the social workers of the city.
Tomorrow, Natalie has a meeting with the mayor.
Next week, we’re meeting with the chairman of the psycho-social board.
And yall-I bought a PURSE!

Over the past week, within our team, we’ve met with the police, barangay captains, the department of social welfare, government officials, city councilmen, and I wont bore you with the rest.

I haven’t even gotten to see the kids in a while…

Pursuing my passion and chasing my dream looks a lot different than I thought it would when I first started. Some days I get to be out on the street completely in my comfort zone- laughing and sweating with kids on my back. Then other days, loving these kids means I have to replace my flip flops for heels, grab my new purse, and sit in meetings all day.

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God is challenging and stretching me in new ways all the time. I’m learning the importance of commanding my body to rest, even though I’m wired to always just go and do things.

I’m realizing once again, that saying YES to God has gotten me in deeper than I ever imagined going. And yet, He’s faithful still.

This season of ministry doesn’t always feel good and that can be hard. I’m not feeding hungry bellies as much as I’d like to and the kids are still sleeping on the street. I’m not fluent in the language (yet!) and I can’t talk to them as deeply as I want to. I don’t get to see the kids every day and when I do see them, it never feels long enough. I spend more time talking and planning and sitting in meetings than I do getting my hands dirty.

Launching a ministry is hard work. And I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss living out of a backpack and traveling the world sometimes.

But this is worth it.

Investing my love and my life into these kids and getting to watch God transform their hearts is absolutely worth it to me. Every meeting. Every dollar. Every day I have to wait for a home for them. It’s worth it.

They’re worth it.

And I know He’s here with me too…probably hanging out in my new purse!

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