A love I don’t understand..

One of my girls here in the Philippines absolutely wrecks me.

She is my favorite of them all, though I would never tell the other kids that. She has the smile of an angel. She’s usually the first kid to hug me when I come in and the last face I want to see before I leave every day.

She washes my lunch plate and guards my keys and I help her organize her cubby and learn to read. She tells me how beautiful my hair is and we laugh and laugh as I throw my hair over her head to see what it looks like. 

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She’s my girl.

Half the time when I’m with her I don’t even recognize my own thoughts. I’ve always said I’m not sure I want to have kids of my own and yet I find myself yearning to take her home with me instead of sending her back to the street. Or there’s the fact that I was always the kid who did just enough to make it through school. But now every afternoon suddenly school becomes my new passion! I make her read all her words out loud a few extra times because I know that being educated will give her a better future. 

Every single day she teaches me more about a love I don’t understand…

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When she’s happy, I’m so glad. And when she’s upset, my heart hurts with her. When I go out to Divisoria and find her high on rugby and angry at the world, I hate it. The days when she picks a fight with the other girls I just want to shake her. But then, when she chooses to spend her money on a mango or new shoes instead of buying rugby I am SO proud of her.

Sometimes, she drives me crazy.
Occasionally, she makes me mad.
Sometimes, she makes me belly laugh.
But every single day she makes me smile.
I could never stop loving her.

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And this afternoon I got to thinking- God what is so special about this love you’ve given me for her? And I realized, that its not MY love for her at all. Its HIS. The way I love this girl is a tiny picture of God’s love for me and for you. 

My love at it’s very best is ordinary. But God’s- His is limitless and deep.  It’s patient and kind. It keeps no record of my wrongs. It always hopes and endures. Ya know..the good stuff. 

And I’m so thankful today for the way He loves me. I’m thankful that He fights for me and pursues me with grace. He lights up when He sees my face. And I get that…because I know what that’s like. 

I’m His favorite too…but just like me, He’d never tell His other kids that 🙂 I’m the first thing He wants to see in the morning and He’s the last one vying for my attention before I go to sleep every night.

I’m HIS girl.

And you are too. I don’t know who your person is who teaches you about love. Mine is a sassy 12 year old with the smile of an angel. Maybe yours are your kids. Or your mom. A student. Or a friend. But I’d like to guess that everyone has at least someone. So when you find yourself loving them with a love you don’t completely recognize or understand, stop for a second and think about how much MORE God loves you. And then thank Him for such a special gift…

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Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “A love I don’t understand..

  1. Heather

    Thanks Leah, you taught me more about love today.

  2. Mom

    You nailed it, Babe! Thanks for sharing!

    One thing though…

    “Sometimes she drives me crazy. Occasionally she makes me mad.
    Sometimes she makes me belly laugh, but every single day she makes me smile. I could never stop loving her!”

    Ummm… Reminds me a little of a teenage girl I used to know! 😉

  3. Sandy V.

    Leah, you bring tears to my eyes. She is beautiful, you are right. That smile tells it all, you are reaching her with your love, God’s love. I see amazing things happening with you. I am so very proud of you.

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