I’m sitting here in the airport in Manila about to board my flight to China. From China I’ll hop on a plane to LAX (see what I did there?) and then head home to Dallas.
Home sweet home.
Inevitably, I was asked the question multiple times this week- “how am I feeling about going home”? It’s been a little over a year and a half since I left home and moved to the Philippines. Am I excited? Nervous? Sad? Thrilled? Stressed?
I don’t really know what I am, honestly. Mostly excited, of course! But I think really I’m a little bit of everything. Excited to hug my family. Nervous to be back in American culture. Sad to leave my home and people here in the Philippines. Thrilled to share what God has been doing. Stressed trying to get everything together and ready to leave.
I’m clearly conflicted y’all! I read a blog last week written by a long-term missionary in Bolivia that perfectly summed up the way I feel inside overall. His story went like this-
“a man from the land of Blue became a missionary to the people of Yellow. He struggled because he was a Blue man among Yellow people. However, after a while he began to truly understand their culture and become partly assimilated. One day he looked in the mirror and saw that he was no longer Blue, he was now Green…”
I admit, its cheesy sounding. But it so resonated with my heart and put words to the strange mix of emotions I’m feeling. I very much feel GREEN- forever a stranger now in both of my “homes”.
My habits and routine have changed. My language is different. My faith has been stretched and tested. I have grown and changed and inevitably, so have you. My experiences over the past 2 years feel so very different from the people I’m coming home to see.
More than anything, I feel so deeply blessed to live a life where coming and going so hard. To live in the land of the Yellow and visit the Blue and to have equally the same amount of love for both places and the people that fill them.
My eyes filled with tears yesterday as I hugged one of my sweet girls goodbye for the next 7 weeks. I prayed for her safety, for her to work hard in school, and for her to feel so very loved this Christmas. Then tears came again at 4am this morning as I hugged my dearest friends goodbye and pulled out of my house to head to the airport. And tomorrow afternoon when those airport doors open in Dallas and my family is standing there on the other side, I know I will cry again! (and then probably crash from emotion overload haha)
I am SO excited to come home. So excited to hug your neck and hear your stories. So excited for Chrismas lights, Thanksgiving turkey, cozy nights around the fire, sweet snuggles with my puppy, and late nights with friends and family.
Just do me a favor and show me some grace Blue people…I’m feeling very Green!
SEE YOU TOMORROW!!